What to do when kids want to stop an activity mid season?
Quitter! Is a very harsh word no one would want his child to be tagged. No sane mind would ever want to hear someone calling his child a quitter. To think they are raising a quitter is definitely a dilemma for parents. What do you do when your kid wants to quit an activity that he started not long ago and yet long before he mastered skills he is supposed to acquire on that activity? Do you encouraged him to stay and finish the course or quitting will not be a big deal?
Many children especially at an early age is surely curious of anything that catch their attention. They like to try everything. They want to get involved at anything they thought to be exciting and interesting. However, most of them decides to quit after few days of being part of a certain activity.
Parents often got confused as well when kids start to whine about dropping out of an activity. Some parents might feel like they are being pushy if they insist his child to keep trying and finish the course. But some parents can also have a guilty feeling that they are allowing or tolerating their children to have a mind setting that it's ok to be a quitter and grow that way.
Here is an insight from Dr. David Elkind, professor of child development at Tufts University, and the author of The Hurried Child:
* It's fine for children below 9 yrs old to quit an activity which they are not enjoying because they don't have a clear sense yet on what are the activities they will like.
* At an early age, there is no evidence of what we call "transfer of training". This only means that that if a child quits an after school activity, this doesn't transcribe of him being a quitter of any job in the future.
* Don't force your children on any activity. This may only develop anxiety that your child will be more reluctant to try other course or activity and try a new experiences.
* Make sure to let your child take part in the decision making. Thus, making him understand sense of accomplishment in the future.
* You may also wants to know a deeper reason why your child wants to quit. It may be a conflict with the coach or an attitude clash with other team members. Or he may just be too tired and may want some time to relax.
If your child asks to quit something mid-season, don’t rush the decision to give it up. It is best to discuss why and and what are the things both of you can perhaps try. You might encourage him to at least try for few more weeks and if he is not really enjoying it and he fully decided to drop it off. Then that's I guess the perfect time to quit.
However this is the perfect time as well to let him realize the consequences of quitting and let him understand the importance of decision making. This will give him an idea that if he start something, he must finish it. This will encourage your child to think through his choices the next time he needs to make decisions.
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